Are all the stories really true?
Abso-possi-lutely.
Who is that adorable girl/boy in the picture, wearing the tuxedo, holding the chicken?
That is Kris (Kirsten), my daugter, holding Mary the famous chicken.
 
You are letting a bear lick your ear in one picture.  Are you insane?  Or stupid?
I was in love, and had been in a 6 year relationship with this old guy.
Oppossums are gross.  I hate them.  Why do you like them?
Possums are my all-time favorite animal!  They only live to clean up after filthy humans and get tortured for it.  Go educate yourself, filthy human.
I heard you have a story about a bat.  Will I get rabies by reading your book?  
You most certainly will.  Get your pre-exposure shots now, by any means.  You've got to read the book!
Is the raccoon sitting on that handsome man a pet?
Not really.  Junie B. Coonie and her siblings were released together.  Junie, while still quite young kept coming in through our doggie door and hanging with us.  She came and went as she chose, and was gone sometimes for days before visiting.  We don't recommend such "soft" releases of wildlife, and learned it was not ideal.  (See?  I can be serious.)
Junie is in the book.
I want a pet raccoon!  
I can understand your wish, but I do not recommend it!  They are clever and talented and destructive!  They grow in size, but continue to stay "naughty" and curious.
Your kids must have LOVED having so many animals around!  They must want to be vets too.
Not on your life.
What is the white arrow pointing to in the picture with the bird.
Exposed bone.
What is wrong with that black kitten?  Its face looks mangled in one picture, and he is all "Hannibal Lecter" in another.
That is little Stevie "Jaws" Spielberg.  He came from a local shelter with a very badly broken jaw.  I was able to fix it to be about 90% improved.  I worried he would need extractions of adult teeth as they came in and would be difficult to adopt out.  Needless to say I kept him.  He is mischievous, active, and has a really cute overbite that doesn't hinder eating a bit.
Did you actually deal with every animal in the pictures, even the alligator dressed up like Kermit the Frog?
Yes.  Many handled me too.
Hey, you said the book was going to be out fall of 2017!  You some kind of liar!?
Well, I have it all squared away with a  self-publisher, but was talked into the possibility of an agent actually being willing to have it published by a bigger company.  I have submitted about 35 queries, and have heard back from about half, most of whom said, "Thanks, but no thanks,", but had a few who are looking at the stories.  Ironically, all the agents live in New York, and may not be able to relate to a messy Iowa girl.
             (Note:  As has been related recently, I went ahead and published, despite a few "tweeks" I thought to make, but was too impatient                to do.  Think that will come back to bite me in the butt.)
If this book  is even just a little bit popular, will you get rich?
Heyyyyyy, no!  I hope to break even.  If I do I can then use proceeds to do all kinds of philanthropicy things.
(FAQs are coming in fast!  More to be answered soon.)

FAQ's

Proud Dad, Schoonie, and his unplanned chicks.  

Unplanned by us, not by him and Flynnie.

Cupcake, former Witty Kitties resident.

Nana the woodchuck on day of her release.

A.J., FIV positive Witty Kitties resident, being a bit tormented for human pleasure.

Tailess, one of many iquanas to come through.

Lex trying out his Kermit the Frog costume for Halloween.

Injured Red-Tailed Hawk

Baby 'possum ready for release.

Snapping turtle day of release.  Looks

tough, but note the writing  pen siting

behind him?  They are in van console.

Child labor laws being ignored where

Kirsten was concerned.

Stevie Jaws Spielberg, part of

Doll/Platt/Klingelhutz home

Hamilton, current resident of Witty Kitties Inc.

Book available now!