Suddenly, I experienced a sensation I'll never forget. It felt as though every single pore on my body opened and sweat started simply pouring out. I realized immediately I was going into shock. After that I only had on and off moments of blurred consciousness.
I remember hearing shouting and seeing dull visions as I was taken out of the ambulance. Then, the next moment I couldn't see anything, but was being yelled at by people I didn't even know. I couldn't figure out why they were so angry at me. Who's slapping me? I thought. I opened my eyes to a man's head over my face, silhouetted by the bright lights above us. "Jennifer! Jennifer! Jenni! Sweetie!" Emergency staff and Torben were shouting. "Open you eyes! Say something! Look at me! LOOK at ME!" I heard these words interspersed with some unnerving words I understand very clearly. That is when I got scared.
I remember hearing "a-fib", "DIC", "We're losing her" and "Pressure 40 over not".
Let me explain DIC. Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation, also fondly known by doctors (of humans and animals) as "Death Is Coming". It means the blood in your vessels literally clots. In doing so, the limited amount of clotting factors in the blood are depleted, hence allowing spontaneous hemorrhage from capillaries, causing unstoppable bleeding from a variety of orifices. As a Veterinarian I had NEVER saved an animal in DIC, regardless of cause.
I continued to have the violent heaving, attempting to vomit. I heard something about "giving her Propofol" knowing they needed me a bit anesthetized to get me to stop moving around. I felt two pairs of scissors cutting off my clothes, each starting at the front legs of my shorts. They simultaneously moved to my waste, the higher. I remember thinking at the same moment "clean underwear?" Not anymore. "Hey, they cut my new pink bra! And my Obamam T-shirt! Will I get it back?!
It was shortly after that odd moment of distracted reprieve from the serousness, that I had a profound moment. As I weakly turned my head to the doctor who repeatedly insisted I keep my eyes open, I realized I was dying.